factors that lead to failure in college
The feeling of failure in college is a great obstacle that hinders students' education. Students need to get rid of these types of feelings, because these lead to failure in their education. The most three important of them are ; lack of motivation and attitude, educational backgraund [sp]and insufficient material. [nice intro, and clear TS]
First, lack of motivation is one of the most important reasons of failure in college. Otherwise, many problems and questions may appear in their [whose?] mind. For example;'' how am l feeling while learning?'', ''Am l generally positive coming to class?'' , ''do l feel friendly or hostile towards the culture?'', ''what is my attitude to teachers?'' If a student asks these types of questions to himself/herself, this means that the student is not well-motivated. This shows that these questions cause the student to fail in their college life [is it these qs or answers, or no answers, that cause failure?] . To sum up [use a different phrase (e.g. in short); use this in a conclusion paragraph], motivation and attitude have a special place in preventing students from feeling of failure. Clearly, special efforts will have to be made to students who have negative attitudes [by whom and how?]. [your paragraph starts well, but you need to support it better with more specific evidence and examples...]
Next, lack of educational background is the second factor that causes failures in college. The primary education is very important, as the content of the class will be different, because each student has different educational background and different degree of knowledge. These differences [may] cause failure , because if a student does not have [a] well developed educational background, then the student [use a substitute here; e.g. she or he] may be depressed and may fell [feel?] inferior. At the same time, educational experiences of students are important. Some students who have been previously unsuccessful may need more encouragement than usual. The style of their previous learning is also important . These are the reasons of having unsuccessful education; the absence of these can cause failure. [good; this paragrah reads better in terms of presenting the factor and giving evidence of how it may lead to failure...]
Finally, lack of materials is the last factor that causes failure. ln order to be successful, materials are very vital. Suppose that a college student who is studying architecture can not pass the courses without the necessary materials. As they create their projects with materials, it is not possible to be successful [what? having the materials or not having them?]. Another example is that an ELT student who is taking vocabulary lesson can face with [maye be omitted] difficulties , if he/she does not have any dictionary. Because of these reasons lack of materials can cause failure in college education.
In conclusion, lack of motivation and attitude, lack of educational background and absence of materials are the most important causes of failure. In order to be successful, students should be able to tackle with these types of problems. [how? here is the opportunity for you talk a bit more about what precautions sts can take to tackle these problems; you can suggest further solutions here...]
Cemile,
Nice essay with strong ideas; your essay is also rich in terms of advanced vocab use (as we observed from the Lexical Frequency Profile (LFP) software.
Take my comments into consideration, and please revise your essay. You can post the revised version on the web.
Thanks
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